Bridgend's latest Pub Landlord in Identity Crisis

A special report from Chief Editor, Jonathan David Abraham

Additional reporting by Restaurant and Take-Away critic Geraldine Borge

Friends of Andrew Jenkins and drinkers at the Five Bells and Coity Castle are becoming increasingly concerned about the bizarre behaviour of Bridgend's latest Pub Landlord. With fiancée Christine, Andrew recently fulfilled a lifelong ambition by becoming joint-tenant of the Coity Castle Inn.

Things went well at first and Andrew was very active in the running of the Pub. Recently though Christine and the regulars have noticed he has become increasingly lazy and has made a number of eccentric changes to his lifestyle.

You could set your watch by Andrew. Each evening he would be behind the bar ready and eager to serve his punters at precisely six o'clock. Recently though, he is hardly ever seen before nine-thirty. Jovial taunts about his absence and poor time keeping lead to him mumbling almost incoherently about having to take a bath. He's changed his regular brand of cigarettes to Silk Cut and drinks copious amounts of Tullimore Dew in place of his usual Lager with a dash. His sartorial elegance is ruined by the replacement of shiny black shoes with a pair of leather slippers.

Andrew was a regular drinker for many years at The Five Bells Inn, which boasts Bridgend's longest serving landlord in the ample figure of Marten Bland. A theory has been formulated that suggests Andrew is basing his whole new persona and working habits on those of Marten. Other evidence strongly backs up this theory. Andrew has recently bought a Volvo, listens endlessly to Irish Folk music and has been spotted around midnight almost every day leaving the Paradise Balti Take-Away in Nolton Street clutching a meat madras with extra lychees. When asked to comment, all Mr Jenkins would say was "Damn and Blast!".

STOP PRESS

Events took another turn yesterday when Andrew was seen leaving a Maesteg Angling and Fishing Tackle Shop clutching a bright new rod and a Woolly Bugger.