Bridgend Policeman Arrests Himself

A special report from Chief Editor, Jonathan David Abraham

Police Constable 2458 Kevin Ellis, 49, is a model citizen and a well known and respected figure throughout the Borough. That is why news of his outlandish and uncharacteristic behaviour last Sunday led to gasps of disbelief and shock amongst friends and colleagues alike.

When he's not safeguarding the security and well-being of the locals on his 'patch', Kevin's passion is football and in particular the fortunes of his favourite team, Cardiff City. Last Sunday he went to see them magnificently win promotion to the First Division for the first time since 1985 by beating Queens Park Rangers in the play-off final at the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff.

Session

Kevin had enjoyed a couple of pints of lager during the match with fellow supporters Lee Pearce and William Watts. To continue their celebrations they descended upon the unsuspecting Five Bells Inn, Bridgend, where they resumed their drinking session.

Bawdy

That's when events started to go horribly wrong and after a few more pints Kevin joined his pals in the singing of bawdy football songs. This noisy behaviour forced many regulars to leave the pub but the so-called supporters continued with this spectacle of unacceptable behaviour.

Arrest

Things were looking grim but suddenly PC2458 Ellis came to his senses. Realising he was acting in a drunk and disorderly fashion he decided he must arrest himself. "You're nicked son!" he cried as he grabbed his right arm but he wasn't giving in easily. Following a struggle he finally managed to get himself under restraint and out of the Five Bells, shouting "It's a fair cop" as he went. He then marched himself down to the charge room at Bridgend Police Station and handed himself in. Further news from South Wales Police is expected soon.

STOP PRESS

Kevin Ellis has been released without charge after issuing himself with a formal caution.