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The Customer That Marten Bland Forgot
(To the tune of "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot")
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Lyrics: Jonathan Abraham. Music: Trad.
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He's the customer that Marten Bland Forgot,
And goodness knows he didn't want a lot.
At the bar he gave his order for pork scratchings and a Bass,
He nearly blew his top an hour later and still an empty glass.
In the Lounge he envies all those with a drink,
"Bland don't care about the Bar" he's forced to think.
I'm so sorry for that punter, 'cause he hasn't got a beer.
He's the customer that Marten Bland Forgot,
[Spoken]
Marten serves but once a year to all us lucky souls.
He spends the rest of his time in the Lounge, or the Cellar or Upstairs.
But I know a man whose never slaked his thirst,
Though he's seen drunkards in the Lounge and that just makes it worse.
He's the customer that Marten Bland forgot,
And goodness knows he didn't want a lot.
[End of Spoken Spoken]
In the Lounge he envies all those with a drink,
"Bland don't care about the Bar" he's forced to think.
I'm so sorry for that punter, 'cause he hasn't got a beer,
He's the customer that Marten Bland Forgot.
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© That Man Enterprises, 1997.
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