Bridgend Man in Nobel Peace Prize Drama
A special report from Norway correspondent Alun Tudor Jones
President Carver disappointed
but stoically philosophical in the suit he would have worn at the
Nobel Peace Prize ceremony.
Bridgend man David Windsor Carver, President of the Five Bells Inn Small People Association (FIBISPA), has had yet another major honour laid at his dainty but perfectly formed feet.
Vet
For many years now there has been a warring element at the aforementioned hostelry in the form of extreme and upsetting antagonism between local veterinary surgeon Robert Marcellus Millar, 61, and cosmetics sales executive, Philip Sandringham Tapper, 58.
Camp
However, expert mediation has brought all this to an end. President Carver, known affectionately as "Camp David" because of his mincing walk, has persuaded both men to bury the Bass and sink the hatchet.
Princess
David proudly but with consummate modesty commented: "Nothing to it. Millar has agreed to live in Spain and Tapper has agreed to drink in the Princess of Wales".
STOP PRESS
The whole of South Wales has been stunned by the news that Bridgend's own special favourite, David Windsor Carver, has not won the Nobel Peace Prize. Diminutive David has been 'pipped at the post' by twice winner, weather girl Suzanne Charlton. Uncle Jack and father Bobby are said to be 'over the moon'.
The atmosphere is however, more sombre at President Carver's household. First Lady, Wendy says: "I'd bought him a new suit for the ceremony. It'll have to go back".