Landlord's Jovial Twin Fools Drinkers
A special report from Chief Editor, Jonathan David Abraham
Regular drinkers at the Five Bells Inn were recently bewildered when they witnessed the unusual site of popular but perennially morose Landlord Marten Bland laughing, telling jokes and singing in the Public Bar. The mystery was at once resolved when long-standing drinker Dewi Williams recognised the misplaced jester as Marten's long lost twin brother Malcolm.
Malcolm and his beautiful Latvian Wife Ludmilla
during their recent visit.
Malcolm's last visit was magnificently recorded in the July 1989 Issue of Alun Tudor Jones' 'History of the World' publication. His jocular personality as reported then is as far from brother Marten's as could be imagined and is attributed to the fact that he is the younger brother (by 10 minutes).
Wrestling
Malcolm left Bridgend in 1963 to make his fortune and has visited only rarely ever since. His 1989 arrival was during a holiday from promoting his successful Ashton-Under-Lyme based All-In Wrestling Business.
Interrogated over his subsequent activities, Malcolm explained that he had fallen on hard times during the late 1980's when his business collapsed as a result of the rise of the USA-based WWF Wrestling Circus. Determined not to be crest-fallen he spotted an hirsute opportunity and in 1990 headed east following the collapse of the Berlin Wall. He is now the proprietor of the Blandies® chain of high-class hairdressing salons in Latvia. He has also found love and was hugely proud to show off his twenty-two year old bride Ludmilla during his recent visit.
STOP PRESS
Malcolm Bland has been arrested and detained at Dover in connection with an Eastern European Shampoo smuggling ring.