Plucky Plasterer Resurrects Lambchop

A special report from Chief Editor, Jonathan David Abraham

A recent nasty, traumatic and completely avoidable accident has left Graham Phillips unable to make his living as Bridgend and probably the United Kingdom's finest plasterer.

Incapacity

Graham, known to his legion of friends and colleagues simply as 'Jaffa', has however proved his resourcefulness by putting to use a childhood skill of mimicry to earn some extra money to tide him over his temporary incapacity.

Sock

One of his greatest impersonations is that of American Marionette Artist, Shari Lewis and her trademark and most famous creation, the sock inspired, Lambchop. Sadly Shari passed away in 1998 but Lambchop lives on thanks to Jaffa's magnificent efforts.

Pathetic

Jaffa's puppet-making skills are unfortunately not as accomplished as that of his mimicry and the success of his new venture has been severly hampered by the pathetic lack of authenticity of his creation of Lambchop (see picture above).

Snap

All isn't lost however, as the wooden sub-frame of the early protoype doubles as an excellent car windscreen ice-scraper. Some keen-eyed readers may even have spotted him during the recent cold snap plying his new trade at Bridgend's traffic lights and busy road junctions.

STOP PRESS

Recent cruel comments referring to the incapacitated Jaffa as a 'One Armed Bandit' have been summarily dismissed by friends and colleagues alike who have assured this periodical that Graham's plastering prices are in no way inflated.