Move Over Singing Nun, Here Comes the Singing Rabbi!

A special report from Chief Editor, Jonathan David Abraham

A new singing sensation has been discovered in a small pub in Bridgend; the Singing Rabbi. Teacher, and former local town councillor, Philip Tapper, shocked regulars of the Five Bells Inn last week, by renouncing his catholic faith and trumpeting his conversion to Judaism.

Bush

The stunned regulars were even more upset as Phillip, his tonsils liberally oiled after several measures of Black Bush Irish Whiskey, celebrated his own road to Damascus by giving the assembled throng a rendition of Topol's classic 'If I were a Rich Man'. He then had to be wheeled home in a barrow by neighbour and close friend Stuart Arthur Evans.

Nun

Unbeknown to the assembled crowd was the presence in the bar of a senior agent from London's well known recording company, Cantors 'R' Us. It was this same agent who discovered The Singing Nun more than thirty years previously, and masterminded her worldwide hit, Dominique.

He instantly believed he had made another sensational discovery so he followed Mr Evans steering the wheelbarrow to Phil's house so that he could return the next morning. Phil, never slow in spotting a chance to make a few bob instantly agreed to his proposition to go to London and record a new version of the classic hit with the Festival Chamber Orchestra.

Night

After a gruelling recording session which lasted well into the night the track was finished and Phil, who now insists on being known by his stage name, the Singing Rabbi, went to sleep off the residual effects of the earlier whiskey at a top London Hotel.

Rushed

His toils weren't finished yet though as he had to return to the studio the next day to record the 'B' side, choosing the evergreen Christmas favourite "All Around My Hat". The completed tapes were rushed by courier to a CD pressing plant in Luton and were released to an unsuspecting public last Tuesday. Bridgend has spawned yet another star!

STOP PRESS

Latest rumours from BBC Broadcasting House in London are predicting that 'If I were a Rich Man' is likely to enter the Singles charts at Number '1' in today's top 40.