Damn and Blast! Town Landlord Gone

A special report from Chief Editor and Obituary Writer, Jonathan David Abraham

The South Wales Market Town of Bridgend was in mourning last week at news that Marten Hugh Gordon Bland had passed away, aged 73. Regulars of the Five Bells were particularly saddened as Marten had been their Landlord for twenty-eight magnificent years between 1978 and 2006.

Marten and his young family moved into the Five Bells in February 1978 during the snowy winter that saw them hosting a number of stranded Scotland Rugby fans on their first night in residence.

Bass

Marten and wife Kay quickly put their stamp on 'the Bells' banning a number of ne'er do wells. Marten worked tirelessly to build up the real ale trade and his flagship Draught Bass soon became of legend, not just in the town but in the surrounding villages and hamlets. Many believed that Marten's legendary reluctance to serve customers was because he couldn't bear to see his beloved Bass leave the barrel. Luckily for the Bells' Bass connoisseurs, his staff were always on hand to pull the pints.

Bugger

Marten was passionate about his lifelong hobby of fishing and would spend as much of his rare and precious spare time sitting on a river bank with his rod in his hand hoping for a tickle. He particularly loved fly fishing and was adept at making his own flies especially the famous 'Woolly Bugger'. Very special friends were honoured to be presented with a 'Woolly Bugger' beautifully crafted by Marten.

Marten loved snooker and pool and such was his mastery that he was banned from his own Pub's Christmas Pool Tournament. He would often iron the pool table whilst staggered drinkers looked on thirstily. Luckily, Marten was never to discover that two of his staff once spilled a glass of cider'n'black on to his beloved table but were quick thinking enough to clean it away before he arrived in the bar fresh from his 10pm bath.

Marten is survived by 3 daughters, Sarah, Sally-Ann and Cathryn, 3 grandchildren, Joe, Lily and Phoebe, 3 sons-in-law and his twin brother Malcolm.

STOP PRESS

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